Dear God,

This is the first time I am doing something like this, but it's high time that we had one of these ... call it whatever, a heart to heart, man to man, woman to man/ entity...whatever. But enough is enough. There are a billion or more people in India alone, a lot more in the world - how is it that you seem to find time only to screw my happiness? If all the things that go wrong are doing so because of past life karma, can you kindly tell me exactly till when all this would last?

You are making me one helluva nervous case. Everytime something good happens, i think of it as too good to be true. If i meet someone interesting, my first thoughts are calculating the expiry date to that particular association. If i wake up feeling very happy, the euphoria fades because i am sure something would happen to eff up the happy feeling.

But dear God, I think I have just about had enough. While i cannot do much if you decide to bring further kahani mein twists in my life, i can definitely change the way i react to things.  My new way might be called cynicism by some, i merely term it compromising with you. What bothers me is this entire continued eff-ups trip that you are on. If you have to teach me a lesson, why cant you do it at one go and finish with it? I am sure you have sent me in this World with some purpose. But if you keep distracting me with all the things that go wrong and the consequent fire-fighting that I have to do, when the hell (or in heaven's name, just in case you get touchy!) will i find the time, energies and intention to do what i am supposed to do?

i cant keep trying something, falling flat on my face and getting back up again. My recent fall broke my heart, then you tried to wring out my soul but I resisted. Now this time, you seem intent on breaking my spirit. I wont let that happen, dear God. Sure, you are God and all and know everything... I am sure you know too that i wont break. I absolutely refuse to.

So please, this letter is simply to tell you that i know you are preparing the next eff-up in my life. I am aware, I am prepared and I wont break, cry or languish in misery. If i lose my job, I will find another. If my pay cheque is delayed, I will bake, massage  and get money. If my landlord chases me away, I will temporarily move in with some friend and find another place.

And if I break my heart... I am going out and partying. I KNOW the soulmate is out there. While i am clear that he has to do the finding me bit, i am sure going to do my best to be out there so that he finds me! So dear God, please break my heart again. And get surprised. There is no heart left! No feelings and definitely no hurt-shurt.

Here's a challenge God: MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE. And then try and break my heart. But first, at least make me fall in love. You are failing miserably. Heartbreaks are child's play for me now. Try something better, stronger and dear God, for once... pick someone your own size?

PS: If you think this rude, dear God, you should have read the original script.