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April 08 Judas did not betray Jesus!Judas Iscariot: The man who didn’t kill Jesus! Judas Iscariot, the man history hates Judas Iscariot: The Lord’s best friend? Shattering myths: The Gospel of Judas
Did Jesus Christ ask Judas to betray him?
“... you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me… you will be cursed by the other generations — and you will come to rule over them.” Jesus Christ to trusted friend, ally and most-preferred apostle, Judas Iscariot, in the Gospel of Judas
The ‘good news’ about Judas?
Judas Iscariot, history’s most hated man, the disciple who sold out his companion for money and and the apostle held responsible for the crucifixion of Christ, might be an innocent man. A tall claim? No, if the English version of the Gospel of Judas – the result of a long collaboration between various experts and the National Geographic Society – is to be believed. Conserved, authenticated and translated from Coptic (the ancient language spoken by Egyptian Christians) manuscripts dating about AD 300, the Gospel of Judas (GOJ) spins the traditionally held belief about Jesus and Judas on its head.
While accounts in the four New Testament Gospels paint a very villainous picture of Judas—how he was vile and greedy, how Jesus was onto his treachery and how finally Judas betrays Jesus by handing him over to Roman guards in the Garden of Gethsemane for 30 pieces of silver—GOJ portrays Judas as the man truest to his Lord and someone who was following Jesus's request when he betrayed him. GOJ further claims Judas was Jesus's most preferred disciple and was in fact the only one with whom Christ had shared the true secret of the salvation. But if the Gospel of Judas exonerates the man after whom it was written, why was it kept secret for so long?
Of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John As benevolent a belief system Christianity might be, it's rise and fall through the ages has been marked by some extremely bloody periods. Each time alternate beliefs that challenged, questioned or differed from the mainstream Christian Church arose, they were squashed ruthlessly. The Gospel of Judas (and its followers) too met the same fate. Much before it's discovery in the desert near El Minya, Egypt in the 1970s, the first known reference to the Gospel of Judas was made around A.D. 180 in a treatise, Against Heresies by Irenaeus, Bishop of Lyon (then Roman Gaul).
In his treatise, Irenaeus acerbically rallied against those whose views on Jesus and his message differed from that of the Roman Catholic Church. In his list of 'heretics' was a mentioned a group* who “declare that Judas the traitor…alone, knowing the truth as no others did, accomplished the mystery of the betrayal… They produce a fictitious story of this kind, which they style the Gospel of Judas.”
The 'they' referred to by Irenaeus were a group of early gnostic Christians. For the uninitiated, the gnostics believed the way to salvation was through secret knowledge—delivered by Jesus to his inner circle — that revealed how people can escape the prisons of their material bodies and return to the spiritual world from which they came. In other words, the author of the Gospel of Judas believed that when Judas Iscariot handed Christ over to the authorities, he was 'helping' Jesus fulfill his divine mission.
This was in direct contradiction to the Church that said salvation could only be achieved through it and by believing in Jesus Christ the Saviour. Incensed, Irenaeus banned all the other gospels in circulation and declared that only four—Matthew, Mark, John and Luke—were the real gospels. Biblical scholars believe that though the other gospels were either destroyed or confiscated, copies of some of these were hidden by followers.
About 1,700 years after it was hidden away, the 66-page, leather-bound papyrus manuscript (codex) that contained the Gospel of Judas was discovered in the Egyptian desert in the 1970s. It then circulated among antiquities traders, moving from Egypt to Europe to the United States and languished in a safe-deposit box in New York for 16 years till Zürich-based antiquities dealer Frieda Nussberger-Tchacos bought them in 2000. Since then the manuscript has been called the Tchacos Codex.
Since then the codex has been put through strenuous tests —radiocarbon dating to multispectral imaging—to establish its authenticity as a genuine work of ancient Christian apocryphal literature. However, while the documents' legitimacy has been established—the Coptic document was copied in AD 300 from an original Greek text written in AD 180—the Church (read Vatican) is non-commital except for dismissing the findings.
If Judas was a friend, Christianity is...
While the resurfacing of the Tchacos Codex is definitely of academic interest, it's ramifications on Christianity could be far reaching. If it shows how Christianity started out with many beliefs and practices in the ancient times, it also opens a Pandora's Box of questions.
For some it is a vindication of their belief that the Bible is not be taken literally as the word of God but is rather a result of historical and political choices made over the ages that decided to promote some texts and viewpoints while obliterating others. The believers are obviously in a tizzy: from being the central villain in the Bible, Judas is suddenly the fallen hero who actually helps Jesus achieve his mission for salvation! “Whether or not one agrees with it, or finds it interesting or reprehensible, it (Gospel of Judas) is an enormously interesting perspective on it that some follower of Jesus in the early Christian movement obviously thought was significant,” says Elaine Pagels, Harrington Spear Paine Foundation Professor of Religion at Princeton University. While the final findings of the Gospel of Judas (to be revealed on the National Geographic Channel at 8 pm, Sunday, April 9 in the world premiere of a two-hour series by the same name) might not drastically change Christianity as we know it today; it could very well spark off debates that were once hushed almost 1,800 years back. Where there are debates, dissenting voices aren't far behind. Some scholars say that while the Gospel of Judas is indeed one of the ground-breaking finds in non-Christian writings in the last 60 years, it will not do much to shake Christian faith. Then there are those who allege that the entire discovery-debate-issue is being blown out of proportion to gain mileage for the book on Gospel of Judas that the National Geographic Society has published and to give a boost to TRP ratings for the National Geographic Channel. The channel however, denies such allegations. Joy Bhattacharjya, Senior Vice President - Programming, National Geographic Channel India says, "The Gospel of Judas reveals facts, beliefs, conspiracies, secrecies and a lot more about Christianity...it has already created excitement worldwide and brings to light information that will make us rethink our beliefs." But whether this rethinking translates into anything concrete—a change in rigid Christian beliefs, a possible inclusion of other interpretation—or is lost in translation is a matter of time. For now, most are taking the safe route of being just academically excited that the Codex has been discovered. (Once all the research and piecing-together of the manuscript is done, it will be returned to Egypt and kept in the Coptic Museum in Cairo)
April 05 t!ts & arse"If you lose THAT it would be cause to worry for some, because that's when the guys start hitting on you," said my very-concerned friend being not-so-polite about the little tummy that I have. And mind you it is little. Not flabby that it puts off and not, not there either. I have a little tummy (it's always 'little tummy', never tummy and callin it paunch is sacrilege). But my friend thinks otherwise. The 'otherwise' wouldnt really bother me but for his thinking that my little tummy is detrimental for my... let's call it my Head-Turning factor (HT factor...an 'o' between the 'h' and 't' wouldnt hurt either <wink>).
A statement, ANY statement about the state of affairs of your little tummy (however little it may be), first thing in the morning hurts a girl. Did the little tummy really look that bad? The HT Factor aside, if your little tummy is overtly visible, its a sure sign that its perhaps not that little anymore. So this girl stood before the mirror and looked at herself.
But the eyes never did reach the little tummy.
As they scrutinised head to neck to...the eyes stopped right there. Boobs. Definitely cannot be called 'little boobs'. Lower still, while the little tummy did look a tad not-as-little than last time it underwent early-morning-careful-scrutiny, it wasnt that bad. This girl turned and then rested (feasted? Grin, feelin particularly immodest as i write) her peepers on the not-so-little butt. Mmmm, mmm, not bad either. But a little voice kept saying, "The little tummy, watch the little tummy"... so i checked again and was distracted again by the hardly-little-you-know-whats.
Then that little light bulb from cartoon strips went off - Bling! I looked at myself and said, "So you got yourself a little tummy. You also got hair that has a natural right-outta-bed look, eyes that with deft use of kajal can change from doe-eyed to diabolical, perfect kissers (Lawrd am blessed), definitely-not-little Twins and a butt that would be insured if you were J-Lo."
So what if there's a little-tummy? If it were washboard flat I'd look unreal and real women always have little tummies. And real men like little tummies. For those who don't like, there's always the t!ts and arrse. Shrug.
PS: For those who scream, but-you-dont-need-validation-from-others: You do. Looking good works for me. Those who say they arent bothered about how they look, we arent on the same plain anyway. Those who are too bothered about their little tummies or whatever else aint perfect - Bah. Look carefully and you'd see the not-so-little something else, there;s always something else. Be imperfect, and bloody enjoy being imperfect. April 03 The Soulmate in disguiseSome of us are lucky to find the love of our lives. Then there are those who spend their entire lives in the mistaken belief that they are with the love of their lives. They are lucky too; or at least luckier than the souls who wander around either searching for TL (True Love) or repeatedly looking for it in the wrong places or from the wrong people. False belief is far better than losing the belief. Perhaps…
What makes a person fall in love with the 'wrong' people, again and again? Or rather not so much wrong as not right for them. The situations where on the face of it everything seems perfect and yet there is that often overrated, mysterious 'something' missing. Despite having an idea of who or what we want to love, we still end up investing our emotions, effort and time in places where the quest for love will only disappoint us. Or is it because we 'have' a clear idea that we fall for the Mr/Miss Not-That-Right? You are so certain that your TL is supposed to be an adventurer that when you meet the horticulturist who might be just right for you, you fail to recognize or even give him/her the benefit of doubt because who ever heard of aloe vera being as adventurous as base jumping? Or over the years, the idea of what your ideal relationship will/should be is so fixated that accommodating a different view, a different way and a different picture often becomes an existential issue. When you meet something/someone different that could perhaps be equally good for you, your system goes into denial. How could this be? My TL is supposed to be roses and wine… it didn't talk about McDonald's burgers and video games! Then of course there is Richard Bach and the likes of him who further promote intolerance-towards-the-wrong-one by propounding the Theories of Soul Mate. Your soul mate will be your mirror image. What if that image is a little skewed? Your soul mate will know things about you instinctively. What if that instinct needs a little awakening? Your soul mate will love/hate the same things. What if he loves one of the things you hate? Maybe your TL is in disguise or let's say has not washed his/her face so you cant see them clearly yet... Maybe The things you want, wish and seek ARE there in them, just need a little scraping-off-the-surface before you can spot them. Is it worth walking away from something that can be, but might take a little time, just because you cant see all the merits initially... It is scary for sure. Each time we invest in the wrong person, we are so scared to ever try again that even though there might be merit in a relationship, we are afraid of waiting it out. We are scared that we could be wrong all over again and we dont even wait to find out. It becomes a question of emotional survival. "I dont want to get hurt therefore I will not try". Do love and survival have to be mutually exclusive? Why cant we love and wait to see if the slightly-wrong-for-me person does turn out to be the TL... January 23 A girl wants a lot of sex tooSCENE 1: "If I don't get some soon, my finger will fall off!" screeched my girlfriend, let's call her M, on an ISD-call. I quickly checked if I was on speaker, was relieved I wasn't. "So why don't you do something about it?” I suggested lamely. I knew her problem, she was too picky. If M's current three-year-old dilemma is to sleep or not to sleep sans amour, another pal N has another problem. Four years back, N was in an almost-steady-relationship (usually happens at school or college level and doesn't develop into Happily Ever After...HEA henceforth). Flashback: Back to present: TWo different scenarios and there are many more. For the (apparently) sexually liberated, financially independent, with-her-own-mind woman of the 21st century, some things don't change. I have heard stories of how someone's great grandmother was constantly kept pregnant, whether she wanted to or not. Of how the wife of a couple I once knew was in severe depression when she was pregnant... because the husband would either stay out ('coz he couldnt do it) or 'request' for an oral release. Today, one of the women I know is seeking counselling alongwith her husband (she's lucky) because their sexual frequencies don't match. He does not want it except for on weekends (she calls it the 'customaru f**k). While she has a healthy, natural appetite and is frustrated most times. I could give more examples. But to cut a long story short, women in India need to speak up. If you want to have sex - ASK for it (married or otherwise). If you dont like what's happening -- SPEAK UP. If 3 am is not your time - say NO. If you like lots of sex - firstly STOP feeling guilty and then ENSURE you get it. If you dont think you have ever had an orgasm - TELL your partner! But ALL is not the man's fault. Guys might think of sex all the time, but they are humans too. After an 18-hour shift only the Inredible Hulk will be Don Juan in bed. If his boss is after his case, he definitely wont be turned on by sexy lingerie. BUt women being women, will first think the worst and then think logic (harsh, but the truth!) Instead of wondering why you are not having sex; or having too much of it; or having it in ways you dont like -- stop assuming and speak up. PS: And if the guy calls you a nymphomaniac for asking for it - dump him and then forward him the earlier post on why relationships collapse. January 12 Sure signs your marriage is in troubleDoes this sound like you two?
Why do relationships - be it a marriage, a two week affair or an association of years - break up? It would be so easy to say it must be the man's fault and indulge in some good-for-ego male bashing. However, both men and women have dumped, walked out and given up on their relationships. Not because the guy was a wife/partner beater or because the woman was a haridan.
It's the small things. However, before the small things become big issues and your relationship blows in your face -- here are the signs you (both he and she) need to watch out for. See them, recognise them and get out of the situation before you are at the receiving end.
Believe me, it's far better to be the dumper than the dumpee — 10 signs that say your relationship is OVER (tried, tested, been there, done them!):
1. He: Comes back home at 3 am every night (morning?) and says it's because his computer crashed. Every time.
She: Refuses a ride back with you because she doesn't know how late she'd be. Of course, 'some colleague' will drop her back. 2. He: Doesn't tell you where his money is going; but there's never anything left. Worse still is when you don't even know his salary break up!
She: Discusses her taxation troubles with that guy at work/ friend's brother/ someone else instead of you... and you happen to be a CA. 3. He: Talks most about a woman and strangely, she is ALWAYS a 'bloody bitch'.
She: Talks about a man and strangely, he is ALWAYS either gay or has a girlfriend. If he has a fiance, you have two days to move out. 4. He: Wants to avoid a party till the time you are going. Once you decline, he suddenly remembers an old obligation and has to go. Without you.
She: Decks up for this "really boring but imperative" office do. Of course the backless is because she has to be a professional even when she doesn't like it. 5. He: Refuses to take you for official functions due to 'new management rules'. The new female colleague in office however, has to accompany him everywhere. Even movie shows.
She: Debuts on stage or wins an award and you read about it in the papers. It's worse if she forgot to invite you or forgot you in her 'thanks to these people' list. 6. He: Tells you to take notes after his mother has rearranged your drawing room, bedroom and underwear basket as well.
She: Tells you to take notes from the 'Kamasutra For Beginners' that she gifts you on your birthday. 7. He: Thinks that whatever you do for him is because he 'allows' it or because it's his will.
She: Refuses to do anything for you because she says she's developing a Superwoman complex. 8. He: Eyes women passing-by, looks at you and says, "So what if you have a jelly belly? I like my li'l piglet!". And says it in public.
She: Is anti-men waxing and yet looks at you and says, "So what if you are very hairy? I have a thing for furry creatures." 9. He: Insists you get inspired by porn while doing it, then stops midway to discuss how his 'favourite' Rebecca Lord should have been an A-grade Hollywood actress. She: Starts laughing while looking at the porn and thinks you look like Ron Jeremy. From the waist up. 10. He: Suggests you go to a shrink when you say points 1-9 are the reasons the two of you aren't working out. If he calls them 'trivial', you should've dumped him long back.
She: Looks relieved and smiles when you say points 1-9 are reasons the two of you aren't working out and then says, "Finally! It took you nine points to realise?!" Post Script: If you are reading this, you two sure need to have The Talk. If you got this as a forward from a pal and you are a woman, your friends are right. If you are a male and you got this as a forward - she is telling you something buddy! January 11 A debauche, divorced woman"Has he been married before?" asked my mother over the phone.
"No Ma, he is..." "Does he have kids?" "Kids?! I just told you he has never been married...!" "So what? Why is he interested in you?" "Because I happen to be..." "But will he accept you?" continued my mother relentlessly, having mastered the art of interrupting me mid-sentence and mid-thought since the time I have been 13.
"Accept me? Ma, we are just scoping things out. And accept me? I don't understand..." "At least learn to be practical now. If he has never been married before, does not have kids and is a single, eligible man according to you - why will he accept you? After all, you are just a separated woman now." 'Just a separated woman'. And I thought that virginity was the only criteria a woman had to worry about. Apparently not, according to my mother (and where there's one mother, there're more!) Now it seems, that given my non-virgin and 'just a separated woman' status, my market value in the marriage bazaar has gone down. Damn. But on second thoughts, why?
If Aamir Khan can get a (presumably) non-virgin, but never-married-before Kiran Rao, why can't I get a mate — single, unmarried and preferably a non-virgin? Further according to my mother (shrug, mom is always right), the only man "kind enough" to marry me will be one who has been married before (or has kids, whichever comes first).
That apart, seems like even dating rules change once you are single again. Suddenly you are seen as a woman who's looking for stability. Who isn't? But if you are separated/divorced/single again, you are ONLY looking to get married again. You are also supposed to settle for whatever or whoever comes your way.
You are also supposed to put longer hours at work because you don't have a "husband to go back to". Or are supposed to have more money to spend because, "it's just you, right?" Or not flirt, date or meet different men because "separated women are easily labelled debauch, so be careful."
And what about separated/divorced/single again women getting on with life and finding some happiness?
My mother ponders the question while I listen to the static over STD and finally sighs.
"You have a point there," she says, "Everyone deserves happiness with a partner by their side..."
I was already delirious, my mother was agreeing to something I believed in!
"Oh Ma, there is hope! All is not lost, I will get back, I will be happy, I..." "But who will accept you?" January 10 No lovin, just live inAll bills shared, a common friend circle, extra effort to keep each other's interests in mind, a mutual and conscious decision to make each moment enjoyable and sex on demand. Make that good sex on demand.
Sounds like a perfect relationship? It is. Almost.
They say marriages are made in Heaven,
And you're lucky IF you find The One.
We say get smart and live as one,
It's called live-in, and it's simply fun!
Or at least that was the scenario some time back. Living-in was for people who did not believe in marriage, or who wanted to try things out before taking the final plunge or those who wanted to live together till the time they married. Basically, it was about two people in love, wanting to be together, with or without the desire to get hitched.
And then something happened.
Marriages that were fragile from the beginning, could not stand the strain of corporate pressures, increased deadlines, bloated expectations and no time to meet those expectations. Six months, two months, a year, three weeks... the 'I do' began taking much less time to change into an 'I won't'. All you got was unhappy people.
And then someone, somewhere decided that to live with the person you love, you really don't have to marry them.
So couples in love started living together. They were together, and yet unlike marriage, which by its very nature adds a sense of "you can't escape the situation" kind of inevitability to it, living-in seemed cool. All was fine with living-in till one four-letter word blew the lid of that utopian existance. Live-in started with Love and that's what the trouble was.
If you weren't falling out of love after seeing the 'real' person you stay with, there was one partner suddenly wanting to get married, or wanting babies or suddenly thinking biological clock. Generally, love spoilt it for living-in because even without the marriage, love demanded some sort of a permanency. Even with living-in suddenly, all you got was unhappy people.
The solution? Living-in without the love.
Living-in together to share costs of survival. Knowing that you are not in love, but understanding and appreciating the differences and the similarities. Making conscious decisions to discuss what works and what doesn't. More than anything else, not talking love, commitment or anything else and simply being together till the going is good...
But while there is lust, sex, fun and everything else... will this mean happy people? Or are we still waiting for that elusive Love (who we can marry or be with happily ever after?) and simply playing pretend games till then? November 29 Dear God: Stop screwing around with meDear God, This is the first time I am doing something like this, but it's high time that we had one of these ... call it whatever, a heart to heart, man to man, woman to man/ entity...whatever. But enough is enough. There are a billion or more people in India alone, a lot more in the world - how is it that you seem to find time only to screw my happiness? If all the things that go wrong are doing so because of past life karma, can you kindly tell me exactly till when all this would last? You are making me one helluva nervous case. Everytime something good happens, i think of it as too good to be true. If i meet someone interesting, my first thoughts are calculating the expiry date to that particular association. If i wake up feeling very happy, the euphoria fades because i am sure something would happen to eff up the happy feeling. But dear God, I think I have just about had enough. While i cannot do much if you decide to bring further kahani mein twists in my life, i can definitely change the way i react to things. My new way might be called cynicism by some, i merely term it compromising with you. What bothers me is this entire continued eff-ups trip that you are on. If you have to teach me a lesson, why cant you do it at one go and finish with it? I am sure you have sent me in this World with some purpose. But if you keep distracting me with all the things that go wrong and the consequent fire-fighting that I have to do, when the hell (or in heaven's name, just in case you get touchy!) will i find the time, energies and intention to do what i am supposed to do? i cant keep trying something, falling flat on my face and getting back up again. My recent fall broke my heart, then you tried to wring out my soul but I resisted. Now this time, you seem intent on breaking my spirit. I wont let that happen, dear God. Sure, you are God and all and know everything... I am sure you know too that i wont break. I absolutely refuse to. So please, this letter is simply to tell you that i know you are preparing the next eff-up in my life. I am aware, I am prepared and I wont break, cry or languish in misery. If i lose my job, I will find another. If my pay cheque is delayed, I will bake, massage and get money. If my landlord chases me away, I will temporarily move in with some friend and find another place. And if I break my heart... I am going out and partying. I KNOW the soulmate is out there. While i am clear that he has to do the finding me bit, i am sure going to do my best to be out there so that he finds me! So dear God, please break my heart again. And get surprised. There is no heart left! No feelings and definitely no hurt-shurt. Here's a challenge God: MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE. And then try and break my heart. But first, at least make me fall in love. You are failing miserably. Heartbreaks are child's play for me now. Try something better, stronger and dear God, for once... pick someone your own size? PS: If you think this rude, dear God, you should have read the original script. September 05 Just a bloody time wasteWould you understand love if it stared you in the face? How do they -- those who claim to recognise and understand love -- claim to do so? On what basis? Every new association is a new nuance, a hitherto unexplored dimension. The drawing closer of personal boundaries of compromise and yet a simultaneous softening or broadening of the ego to be able to see another beyond the 'I'. The appreciation of another's company and yet the fierce guarding of your own space. The other does it too. A promise of adventure and yet a borne-of-experiences hesitation to venture uninhibited. But perhaps 'inhibited' is too strong a word. Growing up and maturity is the perhaps the ability to wait a little while longer before making the mistake. But have no doubts that you will make the mistake. Or is seeing an emotional bond as a mistake also a part of the same growing up and maturity? Is love 'love' if it's physical too or has aspects of it? Or isn't that pure enough? Is love or does love incorporate looking out for yourself -- may be termed selfishness by the putirtans? Or does love have to mean losing yourself completely? Isn't that stupid? Hell, when do you realise that whatever you are feeling/going through/expreiencing is not just a lucky spell but whatever-real-supposed-thing? What the fcuk. Such a time waste to be thinking about inane things. What is love? A bloody time waste. July 22 Salmangate: Why did Aishwarya Rai keep quiet?Who will answer these questions? Or the one unfortunate enough to have called his then-girlfriend Aishwarya Rai to discuss his issues, only to have their personal chat tapped? Were the stars still in a relationship when their conversation was taped/ tapped? If they were still a pair when this alleged conversation took place, what was Aishwarya thinking? “Your phone is tapped,” says Aishwarya to Salman in the Ash-Salman tapes. Does that mean that she knew why his phone was tapped? Was she alluding to the police and/or RAW being on to his case? If she knew that he had links with the underworld, why didn’t Aishwarya come out and inform the police? Or is it that she did inform the authorities and the latter have kept it quiet? But if suppose Aishwarya had gone to the police four years back, why is a probe into Salman’s alleged underworld links being announced now? Why didn’t the authorities act earlier? What was Aishwarya thinking? Going back four years, one wonders, did Aishwarya know about Salman’s alleged underworld links when the two started dating each other? Did she know at all? But if she did not, how did she know that his phone was being tapped? Isn’t it alleged that CBI members had approached her and told her they were keeping a tab on Salman? Did she believe them? Did she believe Salman? Did she tell Salman that he was being watched and tapped? When she tells Salman on the phone that he’s being tapped — is it to warn him, or is it to extricate herself from what could turn into a sticky situation? If the two were dating when Salman made that call, why was Aishwarya being so monosyllabic on the phone? If Aishwarya knew that Salman had a propensity to get into problematic situations and dangerous liaisons, why did she get into a relationship with him? When did she realise that Salman had so-called links with the underworld? And when she did, why didn’t she get out of the association? Was it fear from Salman’s notorious ‘friends’ that kept her in the relationship? Was this fear the reason she was continuing with Salman’s ‘emotional, physical and mental’ abuse of her? Or was it Aishwarya’s refusal to accept Salman’s alleged nefarious links that led to their relationship breaking apart? If that was the case, why again did not Aishwarya go to the police earlier? Aishwarya Rai is India’s self-acclaimed international ambassador, but do her duties as a citizen end with posing on the red carpet and giving interviews alone? Isn’t she, as a celebrity, as a role model for people and as a star who sets examples (whether she likes it or not) responsible for doing the right thing? If Salman is a ‘culprit’ for harbouring links with the underworld, aren’t people who knew about his liaisons, equally responsible (or guilty) as well? Aishwarya’s mentioning the phone could be tapped shows she knew or had inkling of what was happening, why then did she keep quiet when Salman boasted about his being ‘friends’ with the dons? And why, oh why, did she keep repeating “Yes Salman Khan, no Salman Khan” on the phone? Did she know that that particular conversation was being tapped? Is that why she was being circumspect while talking? Is that why she seemed in great haste to wrap the conversation? But then why would she wait for it to be made public four years later? Or was keeping quiet about it just the natural reaction of a woman who did not know how to handle a drunk, abusive, self-destructive boyfriend? Why did they break up? Did she leave him after she learnt about his dubious connections? If she knew about his links, why did she stick around? What does a person do when someone close to them does something illegal? Didn’t Aishwarya know that the police were on the look-out for links between the Industry and the underworld? Did she warn Salman? Had they discussed the ramifications of what his links could do to their relationship? Or did Aishwarya bail out at the first signs of legal trouble? Was she right in leaving the one she loved (or we presume she did) and moving on because he was doing something wrong? Was the dacoit and murderer Ratnakara’s wife wrong when she told him she would not be party to his sins? Would Ratnakara have gone on to become Rishi Valmiki and write the Ramayana had his family not shown him the right way? But then Salman is no Ratnakara, is he? But is he the only one answerable? What happens next? So the police is now investigating, Salman’s advocate denies the voice is his and Aishwarya is waiting and watching, but is Salman the only one answerable? What about Aishwarya’s complacence as a citizen in not informing the police earlier? What stopped her back then? What happens to Aishwarya now? Will she rat against Salman now? Will it be called ‘ratting’ or will it be her doing the right thing? What if Salman was as much a victim of the underworld’s alleged calls, threats and abuses as many other top stars are supposed to be? What if Salman was not a willing accomplice and was scared? Where does all this leave Aishwarya? At a time when she is trying to spread her wings internationally, will this debacle prove a hindrance in her career? How long will she maintain her silence? What is going on in her mind right now? Was Aishwarya a hapless victim, caught between the police and her lover, or was she a participant, knowing the extent of her boyfriend’s involvement and yet keeping quiet about it? And lastly, how much did or does Aishwarya Rai really know?
July 15 Surviving Salman: Open letter to Katrina KaifDear Katrina, Hope this letter finds you in bonny good health since I don’t expect you to be in the best of spirits. Not when your beau Salman’s spirit-induced, spirited conversations with his former beau Aishwarya Rai are taking up column-space everywhere. My heart bleeds for you Kat. As a woman I can understand what you are going through — trying to silently stand by your man, who just happens to be the Most Wanted man — by the media, the police and perhaps a couple of the netherworld henchmen. However, behind every cloud there is a silver lining and you should thank your lucky stars (between, get your rahu-ketu checked by your personal astrologer) that the taped incident happened four years back when you were not even in the picture. It could have been much worse. You could have been part of that picture. Worse still, Salman could have painted pictures of things he did to/with you to Ash on the phone… y’know the ‘So-and-so can do such-and-such thing for me’ kind of statements. But then you are a new acquisition, err, part of his life. And like all his past women — and we the people, the second-hand, media-fed witnesses will also — tell you, surviving Salman is not an easy job. Why else do you think no candidate has lasted long, or long enough? No Kat, no, I am not trying to scare you. Am sure Salman does a good job of it. Am just sharing some woman-to-woman advice on how you can be The Chosen One — The one to last the longest with the Tempestuous Khan, the one to tame the temper and temper the tantrums. And the one who will perhaps stand a chance to come out unscathed. First off Kat, please follow all traffic rules. That means no drunken driving — especially not with Salman at the wheel. Second, respect pedestrians. Just because they are sleeping on the pavements and not on the zebra crossing does not mean you can run them over. Being a true woman to your man, it’s your job to control him. Or get beaten up, trying. That brings us to the second part of Surviving Salman. You need to hire the best cosmetic surgeon; and fast. With the kind of pressure Sallu is under these days, he is likely to blow up anytime. And when he blows, the blows are likely to land on you, what with his particular kind of public display of affection. Next you need to hire a good CA who can invest your money for you. You’d need as much dough as possible to get yourself an apartment in Dubai or wherever — I don’t know, Salman is the one on first name basis with Them! — The netherworld honchos will need you to perform at short notice. While you go house hunting you might as well apply for multiple entry visas; and don’t forget to find out about the frequent flyer schemes either. But oh, I am getting too practical. It’s the folly of my sun sign, always thinking of practical things! It’s nice that the entire industry — or the ones quoted in the papers — are standing by Salman. Good will matters. And while we are at it, you might as well earn some good too. Knowing Sallu’s propensity to get into trouble, some brownie points in your kitty wouldn’t hurt. I suggest you start a support group. A support group for Sallu’s former women, those he beat around, those he slept with, those who threatens on the phone, those who calls names, those who beat up in hotel lobbies… Doing something for these women will definitely add to your good karma and perhaps reduce Sallu’s bad one. Before I forget, when the two of you plan your vacations, please don’t go to any wild life sanctuary or nature reserves. You know how Sallu gets into his shoot-at-sight mode whenever he spots anything that is endangered… Since the man can’t be stopped, it’s best to avoid such places. Also ensure that you have a couple of phone numbers and at least one of them should be unlisted and absolutely secret. You don’t want your conversations taped when Salman gets abusive. No woman likes her man’s follies t become public. Lastly, suppose that he does get physically, mentally and emotionally abusive on you, remember that you will always have all our sympathy. The industry does a lot for (pretty) women it sympathises with. Till then — while you still have your pretty face intact, without any Salman-bestowed blue-black marks — keep trying your charms on the man. July 08 Err, excuse me, are you my soulmate?“Rescue me, help me, won't you reach for me, hold me, lead the way for me, show me, how to love?” The lyrics of a song, and if you apply it to your own life, a very tall order for any man, or even human being to meet. But that's the thing about expectations. You know, all that about finding yourself is making a weird kind of sense to me. But in the sequence of things, what comes first? The 'who am I' or the 'what do I want'? Because doesn't what I want make me who I am? Or do I want what I want because of who I am? Mmm. Independence is irritating. Because the moment you are 'independent' people expect you to be a superwoman. Strange that there was a time when I wanted to manage all, handle all, be capable of all... Have I really become that image I have always projected? The woman who can handle anything, endure anything, manage everything? Where did the woman who craves to be cherished, vanish? It's so strange. And why is it that even when we have people in our lives who mean something we seek for more? There are people who 'cherish' me. One finds me vulnerable yet unvanquishable and says that my instant messenger handles give him a daily high. The other thinks of me as this gorgeous, exotic or alien woman who he wants to protect but feels intimidated by as well. Sigh. But I dont want to be alone. The hope to be cherished by the right person is there. In fact perhaps that is my entire existence -- travelling and journeying, doing my own thing and yet having someone to share it all with me. Why am I not like other smart women who can make men dance to their tunes? Correction. I can make men dance to my tunes... usually most of them have two left feet, so there. Should I read all the 'wrong numbers' as sign that I am coming across too many things that rubbish the existence of a soulmate and compromise by sticking to a 'committment'? Phew. Mumbled thoughts for sure. Is there somewhere one can apply for a soulmate? How many people have found theirs and are happy? How many have given up? How many know they are not with their soulmates but are still carrying on with their relationships? How many such carry-on-couples are happy? How many are alone because they refuse to compromise and settle down with someone who is not his/her soulmate? Why do I want guarantees? Why do I ask so many questions? June 03 Whatever happened to the Wild Child?I stood on the new office balcony, pulling at the cancer stick, thinking about figures of the numeral kind. The weather is still kind enough to allow one five minutes out of the airconditioner without the heat scorching up the skin. But what even an almost-pleasant weather cant control are the thoughts that sear the soul. As I pulled and looked far beyond, the eyes resting on the silhoutte of a tall building, passing over dug up land and dry fauna that too will give way to more tall buildings, I saw two lone figures sitting amid all the dug up earth. Two of the girls from office were sitting there quietly, talking, smiling, bonding. I was standing in the shade looking down at them from one of the higher floors and I wondered if they weren't bothered about suntan or the heat (under the sun it is hot). And then I thought, Young girls, wouldn't feel a thing. Just enjoying some quiet moments away from work. And thats when something hit home somewhere... “young girls“. When did I stop being a young girl? Just a couple of years back I was being called the “wild child“, the “untamable“, the one who would not be reigned in by conventions, a good worker but worked best when left alone, the one who would not stop at anything, for anything, who could do anything. And now suddenly my boss comes to me with problems, expecting solutions because he will get them, my colleagues come with ideas to make them work, with their problems for me to understand if not solve, because I will. There's a new girl in office. After a long while am seeing a woman who knows she is sexy. Feels good to see women who are aware of their sexuality and more importantly, their sensuality. But... No, I am not jealous, am far too comfortable with my own being (except perhaps for the tummy!) to be jealous... but... Another male colleague and my smoking partner happened to mention the new girl and how all heads (male and female) turn when she walks down the aisle. How she has oomph, and we laughed and discussed some other chicks (i can be quite the “guy“ at this)... and then he suddenly added, “You're not doing badly either“. I winked and said yes, I am downplaying my oomph. We laughed and exchanged see you laters till the next cigarette. But my own words stayed with me. Am I really downplaying my natural self? The Husband keeps mentioning how my temperament needs to be checked, how I would have risen much earlier had it not been for my impulsive self. My mother celebrates my having “matured“. My father says I am more “responsible“. My juniors say I am more “controlled“. What happened to the rebel? The girl who wouldnt bow down to anyone or anything? The girl who survived on Marie biscuits and a spot of sauce for months? The girl who went to office with a bag of clothes and a sleeping bag, not afraid, ready for anything? The girl who spoke her mind when she was sure she was right? The girl who had a thirst for the beyond. Where is she? Who is it who stares back at me from the mirror? That girl was never scared of flaunting her mind, her being, her sensuality... why is this woman....inhibited? Is this growing up? She wanted to buy a motorcycle....rode around at 4am on Delhi streets on a borrowed Enticer....whatever happened to her? Or is it just the Celtic music? May 31 Till Death Do Us Apart - Part FourAs the water poured over her in cold needles, she let her mind drift... drift to when it had all started. To the day she had received another letter....her mind drifted to 11 March, 2005... Flashback She sat thinking. Did she know the anonymous man? He was not important, but the fact that he had come into her mind unbidden, was. The man who had sent her that strange letter. Or was it a letter at all? Dear Misha, What goes on in that turbulent mind of yours? To you, Trips And she drifted. Through the sands and the sands through her toes. Slowly, grain by grain slipping through, falling. Falling like little drops off water that might trickle off a green, wet, leaf. A lead on a green shrub next a lilting spring that had gently whirling eddies — The sun glinting off them in many radiant rainbows with little baby dragonflies shimmering over them. Extremely Enid Blyton! Forgive me. Practicality at times interferes with prose… or attempts at it. The mind though is quiet helplessly romantic (you wouldn’t catch me accepting that in a more controlled environment!) But then suddenly, the mind is like a bumble bee, flitting over flowers, in step with Vivaldi’s Spring Allegro. Or is it the other one? Then it suddenly asks — Why are you so mortally scared Misha? Or of who? Or is it what? I guess your mind does not want to answer. Vivaldi is slowly picking up tempo. The mind runs, hurtling on ever unmindful of tragedies or sorrows. Hurtling, ready to embrace the head on collision with reality. Is that what you are scared of? The violin is going crazy — striving, getting caught, being tamed, straining all along, trying to follow the composer’s mellow ways. But the angst! It quivers to a deafening silence only to rise in a rich alto again. How many people thought why a car is called ‘Alto’, Misha? How and why should Harry and Hermione go the way Rowling wants them to? Do you wonder when you read your Harry Potters, Misha? What goes on in Rowling’s mind? Once an author creates and gives her characters a personality, why should he/she have control over them? The characters have their own mind — provided the author is worth anything! And more than the author, if the characters are worth anything. Why is the mind so scared of being left alone with its thoughts? Why does the mind want someone to be always there to share its thoughts with… by hook or by crook? Why does the mind — in this case yours Misha — have any like-minded friends? Or has the mind just learnt to get into things and other minds peripherally and will then simply fade away into oblivion? Are you scared of oblivion? Is that why you party with a new batch of people everyday, the party animal, the ‘life’ of a gathering, only to come back to your books and your single room? Oblivion is not just a fancy word with you, is it Misha? Oblivion from hearts, minds, memories. An entry in an encyclopedia, nothing else. I don’t want to get up to shut off the comp. Are you scared of me Misha? The violin lulls to sleep… She read the typed letter again. Some of it was quite, err, not right. Some of it was downright weird. But a little of it was shockingly true. Oblivion… how did he know so much? Who was he?
March 02 Till Death Do Us Apart - Part ThreeOctober 2004 Just then the phone rang... She let it carry on its shrill call as she sat in just her T-shirt, staring at the message on her monitor. As she re-read it, she pulled her knees closer to her chest, and sunk in deeper into the leather. It was still moderately warm with winters still a month away, but the goose bumps erupting on her skin told a different story. She was chilled within. Ok, I know you are shocked to see a mail from me. Now breathe. I know it's a year and a half too late. But I am sorry. It is not easy for me to be sorry. But I am. I am extending my hand in friendship. Will you? The phone had stopped ringing, not that she had noticed. "Friendship" she read again and again. She was rocking gently, more like reassuring herself as she began to rub off the goose bumps, unaware she was doing it, hypnotised by that one word. The phone rang again. She went still, absolutely motionless, not even daring to breathe, something deep within her telling her she should not answer the call.
"Bo Peep", drawled the voice into her ear. She whimpered silently, biting her lower lip with an effort not to cry out and clutching the cellphone close to her ear, afraid she would flung it far or faint.
The ba-stard. The bloody ba-stard. She was shaking, with the effort to avoid screaming into the phone and with the sheer effrontery of the voice. "I know you are thinking that I have some nerve to call you after a year-and-a-half and ask you to meet me. I have been thinking, babe. Meet me and I will tell you. Even if you dont meet me, I will meet you. I know you go for you salsa class every evening. Know what? I have joined too. I HAVE to meet you. I was wrong. Things will be better now. Trust me." Trust me. That was very funny. She laughed.
She looked at the clock on her wall - one that she bought for 150 bucks but which was a steal according to her. An oval frame in white metal, given a very rustic look with the srtaight rectangular hands that had Egyptian carvings. A steal, she thought as she lookd at the time, 3.45 pm. She had to bathe. She took out her clothes, stripped off her Tee and picked up the towel as she walked towards the bath. As she crossed the mirror, she stopped. She looked at her naked body. Not bad at all. Except for... She touched the scar on her lower abdomen.... Ugly, ugly, ugly. As her eyes clouded over with some faraway thought, she forced herself to be calm. So far and yet so near... I am meeting you again this evening, Raman. Again. She looked at her phone and switched it off. She wanted an unhurried bath, she didn't want it to ring again. Not yet. Also Read
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